Twelveth note : I seriously have a thing for Ben Affleck.

Ok, I know that most of the people I meet really don't think he's a good actor. Some even dare saying that he doesn't look good. But I have to give him a little more space online. I used to think so too, then I saw him in all of those Kevin Smith films I love. All of them, except Clerks. Thing is, he kind of looks good in Mallrats, doesn't really do it for me in Chasing amy (except the scene where he tells Alyssa he loves her), Dogma oh he is so beautiful, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back he has it...but then oh Jersey Girl. Jersey Girl is the film where he really gets to me. He is incredible, those eyes just melt you. If you would ask my friends if there is any famous guy I find sexy, an updated friend would say Ben Affleck.

So what do you do when you find an ad with the guy?
I looked at it and felt like I was gonna crawl out of my skin. BEN, why did you do this? I almost peed my pants watching it.
You gotta see it...



I'm not gonna excuse myself. But I am gonna have to say...Ben's the man.

Current film I really want to see Glory Daze
Current song, the one that will be in a film I'm gonna make.

Eleventh note

Christ sake, no not that Christ drinks sake.

Madonna sings it, I live it, you see it, it is really true.
"Time goes by, so slowly", "No time to hesitate".

Fuck, I just don't know how to run anymore. In the sense of doing things that lead me anywhere good.
I'm in study apathy, I am gone, I look at the papers and I can't get my shit together. Things feel like the clip I'll be treating you to, if it works.



Next time I'll be introducing you to Jean-Marie and the Red Blooded American Male.

Current film: I don't know, you give me a tip.
Current song Hung Up by Madonna, my depression version.

Tenth note

So, as we all know the net is full of things that are really wicked, odd, crazy and utterly mad.
This has happened.

I am often checking in on IMDB (Internet Movie Database), to read about films, actors and other things that interest me. There they also have this message board. I have written a few things on there and been in interesting conversations. But what happened today really beat my imagination on what really could happen, ever in my life.
To make a long story short. I am a fan of Kevin Smith, Kevin Smith often includes Jason Lee in his films, I like Jason Lee as an actor, I read on his message board on IMDB about how Jason Lee i supposed to be a Scientology traitor. In Scientology illness is just a state of mind, not something real and since Jason Lee stayed home from the set of My Name Is Earl because of illness he is supposed to have thought of his illness as something more than just a state of mind.
Anywhoo, that is where the converstion started, and as usual a topic never gets to simply stay on track. It became a big debate on wheather or not Scientology is good or bad and all of that. Til I see this written by a girl:

"I'm 16. My twin sister died last year from cancer. So, she made that up? She chose to "make believe" that she was dying? For some strange reason, I'm not sure some damn vitamin was going to save her. How dare every. last. one. of. you."

Then betwixt-3 replies:

"Scientology gives us the tech (technology) to decide what's real for ourselves. No one else can tell you what to believe. But your sister did die for no reason because cancer isn't real."

This makes me very pissed of:

"betwixt-3
I've got two words for you, but since one of them is going to be censored I'll exchange it for something else.

You are such a stupid person coming on insulting people with your lack of respect for someone who has lost their sister to something that was not a simple "mind set". You can choose Scientology, cancer is not optional. If you are for real, I bet you are not, then I would like to see you being put in the state of mind called AIDS, cancer and blindness.

Oh, what the heck. Go *beep* yourself." (Fun thing is that words like fuck are being censored)

I receive a very personal reply from the betwixt-3 carachter:

"Guess what Emma S. Elisabet...

You are dead to me.

I know you don't understand anything about personal realities, so what it means is that you are now officially dead in my reality and since I am an enlightened Scientologist my reality is more powerful than yours."

So, I reply:

"betwixt-3 your life must be like a ....of the Dead film then. A lot of zombies around you, walking dead people. Your argumentation stands the same power of someone holding their hands to their ears shouting "not hearing not hearing not hearing" when someone tells them something that they don't want to hear. An opinion, a truth, a different reality to their own. That is the difference between you and me. You just hide, I expose myself to things going on.

For being enlightened you sure aren't the brightest person here."

When I talk to a friends friend on MSN about this I get warned that this might in some way hurt me. I don't know at all.

My only thought now is. How would Tom Cruise comment on what just happened? Would Jason Lee wish to kill me? How serious will this get?

I seriously don't know, and since no one is reading my blog (I kind of figured that since I never get comments that seem to be true thoughts or real comments) neither friends or family nor unknowns and passers by. I would be surprised if I would end up being bombed.

Current film: Any film that fills it purpose.
Current song: Bruce Springsteen's the Rising or Madonna's Jump/How High/Push